CHERYL: OLD, WET AND SCARY

BOAT. PARTY. NEW YORK. BIRTHDAY. LIFE.

CHERYL is now five years old. That’s 35 in cat years and 475 in nightlife years.

Sorry we didn’t tell you earlier, but we were lost at sea for many months, and we’re only now returning to New York. We have scurvy and hair loss, among other unclassifiable ailments. Fake blood and glitter are caked into our hair extensions. Our skin glistens with salt. We definitely do NOT look pretty, but hey, it was our prerogative to ruin our own lives and the side effects are gross.

Presently we, as CHERYL, are excelling at being a clan of broke nomads wandering the planet, and crossing oceans searching for our lost home of the Isle of Go Go–which we may never find–but that’s okay, because we have each other… except Destiny, who we seemed to have lost at sea around 1000 leagues ago (in other words, we left her in Europe. We hear she’s working the night shift at McDonalds somewhere in the UK – she’ll be Skyping in to this party).

But down to business. We are five. We are back from our longest tour yet. It was fun. We’ve missed you and we want to see you ASAP. WE HAVE A BOAT THAT FITS 200 PEOPLE WITH YOUR NAME ON IT.

On August 17, 2013, join CHERYL for a boat cruise / dance party birthday explosion. DJ Nick spins tunes inspired by water, life, and people, with hints of euphoria, splashes of energy, and DOLLOPS OF DRAMAAAAAA.

Boarding at 11:30 at 23rd St and FDR in Manhattan (Skyport Marina). The boat is called THE HALF MOON, sets sail from 12 midnight until 3am all around Manhattan, even passing right by the Statue of Liberty in case of photo op needs. If you arrive later than 12 midnight, the boat will already be gone!

Tickets available here via the Rocks Off website until 11pm day of party:

http://goo.gl/GCyhFT

Tickets will also be on sale for $20 cash at the boat before it takes off. If you want to purchase your ticket the night-of, please be sure to arrive at Skyport Marina by no later than 11:30pm. Night-of tickets are subject to availability. We will announce online if we’ve sold out.

SEE YOU ON AUGUST 17.